Herding Cats? No, That's Just My To-Do List

"Why don't you just write it down?" If we had a treat for every time we've heard that one, our cat cafés would be overflowing. Here's what neurotypical folks often miss: creating and managing a to-do list isn't just one simple action—it's like trying to coordinate a complex cat show while also being one of the performers.

min listen

Published on

November 13, 2024

Hey Friends,

If you've ever watched someone trying to herd cats, you know exactly what ADHD task management looks like. Just when you think you've got one headed in the right direction, three others are wandering off to investigate a butterfly, one's taking a nap in the middle of everything, and somehow one ended up on the roof (how did it even get up there?).

Lately, we've been thinking about how managing our to-do lists feels a lot like that: just when we think we've got one task corralled, three more pop up unexpectedly, that important thing we were supposed to do is taking a nap somewhere in our brain, and somehow we end up doing something that wasn't even on the list to begin with (how did we even get there?).

This week, during our podcast chat about to-do lists, Noelle pointed out something fascinating: for neurotypical folks, managing tasks seems as natural as breathing. But for us? It's more like trying to herd those cats—possible, sure, but requiring way more energy, strategy, and patience than it probably should.

📝 The Catastrophic To-Do List Paradox

Think about it: when someone says "just make a list," they're actually asking us to:

Round up all our scattered thoughts (like collecting cats from every corner of the neighborhood)
Remember everything that needs doing (while our working memory plays hide-and-seek)
Decide what's important (which cat gets fed first?)
Figure out when each task needs to happen (scheduling the cat show)
Estimate how long things will take (like predicting how long a cat will actually play with that new toy)
Keep track of where we put the list (just like keeping track of where the cats are napping)

For neurotypical brains, this process is as natural as a cat landing on its feet. Their executive functions—the brain's task management team—work automatically behind the scenes. But for our ADHD brains? We're having to consciously juggle each of these elements while also trying to maintain enough focus to actually write things down.

This isn't just a cute metaphor. Creating and managing a to-do list requires:

Working memory (remembering which cat needs what)
Task initiation (actually getting up to feed the cats)
Organization (keeping track of all the cat supplies)
Prioritization (figuring out which cat needs attention first)
Time management (estimating how long cat-wrangling will take)

The real kicker? By the time we've spent all this mental energy just creating and organizing our to-do list (hello, dopamine deficit!), we still have to actually do the tasks. It's like spending all your energy preparing for the cat show only to realize you still have to actually perform in it.

🎯 The Art of Cat Whispering (Or: Making Tasks More Manageable)

Ever notice how cats ignore their expensive food but come running for a piece of tuna? The same principle applies to our to-do lists—the way we present tasks to our brains matters a lot. While neurotypical folks might get by with cryptic notes like "garage" or "email Jim," our ADHD brains need something more appetizing.

Enter the concept of "Tasty Tasks" (shout out to Amazing Marvin for this delicious framework). Just like a good recipe, every tasty task has three essential ingredients:

The Three Ingredients of a Tasty Task 🥣

Start with a Verb (The Action Plan)

Instead of: "Kitchen situation"
Write: "Clean kitchen counter" (like "Fill food bowl" vs "Cat food")

Be Specific (The Clear Target)

Instead of: "Deal with mess"
Write: "Wipe down kitchen counter next to coffee maker" (like "Put fresh water in the blue bowl by the window")

Keep it Bite-Sized (The Manageable Moment)

Instead of: "Write report"
Write: "Write introduction paragraph for quarterly report" (like breaking "clean litter box" into smaller steps)

The magic happens when you combine all three ingredients. Let's say you need to clean the kitchen. Instead of writing "kitchen" on your list (which is about as helpful as telling a cat to "be good"), you might write "wipe down kitchen counters next to coffee maker." Your brain now has clear, specific instructions it can actually follow.

Remember: the goal isn't to write the world's most perfect task description—it's to make it clear enough that Even-When-I'm-Tired Me or Just-Woke-Up Me can understand exactly what needs to happen. Think of it as leaving instructions for a very literal-minded cat sitter: the clearer you are, the more likely things will get done!

📥 The Task Inbox

You know how cats bring you "presents"—random things they find throughout the day? Our brains do something similar with tasks. They pop up everywhere: during meetings, while we're in the shower, as we're falling asleep, or right in the middle of doing something else entirely. Instead of trying to organize these thoughts immediately (or letting them scatter like startled cats), we need a gathering spot for them all: a task inbox.

How It Works 🐱

Just like you wouldn't try to groom, feed, and play with every cat at once, you don't need to properly organize every task the moment it appears. Instead:

Catch Those Tasks. Jot them down anywhere (notes app, paper, voice memo). Don't worry about organizing yet if you don’t have time - just capture them and get back to what you were doing.
Gather Them Up. Once a day (or whenever you have the energy), round up all those scattered notes and bring them to one central spot.
Sort When Ready. Look through your collection and decide what to do with each of your scattered tasks, thoughts, ideas, and ‘oh yeah I need to remember’s.
- Tasks: Move these to a dedicated to-do list (making sure to write them in Tasty Task format!)
- Projects: Move these to a separate "Projects" list where you can break them down into smaller, more manageable tasks later. Once broken down, the first task or two within each project can be added to your to-do list.
- Ideas: Interesting thoughts that aren't urgent but you'd like to explore someday. Keep these in an "Ideas" folder and set aside time (do it now - we both know you won’t remember later) to review and decide what to do with them.
- Other Information & Reminders: Take the time now to move these to the appropriate reference system (like your calendar or planner for reminders).

Why It Works for ADHD Brains 🧠

This system is perfect for us because:

No pressure to organize in the moment
Reduces the "I might forget this!" anxiety
Lets you capture ideas without losing focus on current tasks
Gives you permission to sort things later
Prevents tasks from getting lost under the couch (metaphorically speaking)

Think of it as having a "maybe later" box for your tasks. Just like you might have a box where you toss things to sort through later, your task inbox is a safe space for all those "I should..." thoughts that pop up throughout the day.

Remember: Your inbox isn't your to-do list—it's just a temporary holding space. Like a cat in a carrier, these tasks aren't staying there forever; they're just waiting to be taken where they need to go!

👾 Noelle's Top Tips

But wait - there’s more! (Sorry, I’m always looking for an excuse to say that 🤣). Everyone’s brains, and lives, are different. You may find that Tasty Tasks and the Task Inbox aren’t really your jam. Or, maybe they just need a little bit of tinkering. The following may give you additional inspiration for tackling those tasks.

The "Energy Match" Method ⚡

Match tasks to your energy levels (just like cats have different moods):

Sort tasks by energy required, not importance:
- "Zombie Mode" (tasks you can do while half-asleep)
- "Half-Awake" (simple, routine tasks)
- "Fully Charged" (tasks requiring focus)
- "Super Focused" (your peak performance time)

The "Context" System 📍

Organize your tasks like cats in their natural habitats:

Sort by situation rather than priority
Only look at tasks relevant to your current "territory":
- "When I'm at my computer" tasks
- "When I have a phone" tasks
- "When I'm in the kitchen" tasks
- "When I'm out and about" tasks
Reduces decision fatigue (no more herding ALL the cats at once!)

Visual Task Management 🎯

Create a command center for your task-cats:

Set up a whiteboard with moveable sticky notes
Create columns: "Now," "Next," "Soon," "Later"
Physically move tasks between columns (like moving cat toys between rooms)
Easily rearrange without the pressure of rewriting
Bonus: Use different colored notes for different types of tasks

✨ The Final Count(down)

Today we talked about how managing tasks with ADHD can feel like herding cats—chaotic, unpredictable, and sometimes hilarious. Maybe you've noticed your tasks have a cat-like tendency to wander off when you're not looking, or that your to-do lists seem to multiply like a clowder of cats. (Yes, that is the actual term for a group of cats.) Perhaps you've found yourself staring at your list feeling as overwhelmed as a first-time cat sitter with a house full of felines. Remember that finding your perfect task management system might take some experimentation—and like cats, what works one day might not work the next!

Until next time,

✨ O'Ryan, Noelle, and Trina

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📚 Resources

Time management with ADHD: Sometimes, the trouble with to-do lists isn’t how you write them - it’s about how you plan and use your time. Pitfalls and solutions inside. Read this blog →

‍

Can’t tackle those to-do’s? Stop confusing projects with tasks: The tasks you keep putting off over and over might actually be projects. Not sure what the difference is? You will after reading this! Read this blog →

‍

How to Break Down Projects Into Tasks: Once you’ve identified a project, how and where do you even begin breaking it down? We describe one method here. Read this blog →

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Episode Transcript

O'Ryan: Hey there, my name's O'Ryan, and today I am joined by my two co hosts, Trina, from =MyLadyADHD,

Trina: Hello.

O'Ryan: and Coach Noelle.

Noelle: Hey.

Trina: Hey, oh, I was actually thinking today we should talk about to do lists and how dreaded they are.

Noelle: They are dreaded. The

Trina: This is something that I've been hearing in the community, how much people struggle in this area with just endless to do lists, not being able to start, and I resonate, so I thought we should talk about it.

Noelle: I literally have just finished three sessions in a row where we talked about that.

Trina: Oh wow. So it's a common thing right now. That's, that's what I'm feeling too, because it's just a busy time of year. There's a lot on the to do list, so. I think it's an interesting topic.

O'Ryan: my to do list is quite overwhelming at the moment. So yes, please. Let's talk about this. It's, it's not even that there's like a lot of stuff on it. I just, for some reason I find it really overwhelming and there's, there are quite a few like little tiny things that I just need to take care of, but I, I'm noticing more and more lately that I am feeling more stressed out just because of the existence of my to do list.

Trina: Yeah it's like I fight the to do list but I also like live and die by it at the same time.

O'Ryan: Yes.

Trina: curious though if you are like a paper to do list person? Are you like, do you have post it notes everywhere? Like what is this, what does this look like?

Noelle: Yes.

O'Ryan: Yes. Yeah, exactly.

Trina: Yeah.

Noelle: I have. Sticky notes in front of my keyboard, like several for different like categories of things. I also have a digital to do list for like projects. A

O'Ryan: I, I have, I have my written to do list. I also have little note cards that I stack up in front of my keyboard and then I have my digital one and I feel like they all do different things though. There's, there's no like sane organization structure of it, but I feel like sometimes. Writing something down has a different effect versus like it just existing on the computer Versus there's a note card literally like in my way that I can't get rid of Until I finish it

Trina: I feel like my to do list is lots of paper, but I also have digital to do lists. But either way, I always feel like I end the day with like more to do than what I started. If that makes sense. So I feel like sometimes I've been guilty of putting just an insane amount of things on my to do list that are not humanly possible to complete.

O'Ryan: I think there's this interesting dichotomy between ADHD people and their to do list right like because on the one hand I couldn't survive without mine, but on the other hand I Actively dislike it. It causes me so much stress and overwhelm. why is this happening to me? Please help

Noelle: Yeah, that sounds familiar. I'm pretty sure I saw a meme once that said something like, no, I don't want to do anything you tell me to do. And then please tell me what to do immediately. so yeah, it's like. I can't say for sure why it, cause it's probably different for everybody. I think there's probably an aspect of that sort of demand avoidance for

O'Ryan: Hmm

Noelle: I know there's that feeling of, Hey, I was going to do this, but now that you're telling me to do it, I don't want to.

and then sometimes it's a motivation thing, maybe sometimes it's the overwhelm of like looking at it and seeing how many there are and just. like, there's so many, so many different reasons, but yeah, it's like, we have to have it so we remember the things, but in creating it, we overwhelm ourselves

O'Ryan: hmm

Noelle: many of the things

Trina: I feel like it's like us externalizing our executive functions, right? Like that's kind of how I understand it. It's like my brain can't really hold it all. It's just a lot. So I have to get it out and then I put it on a list and then I don't know. It just, it does add a layer of overwhelm.

Noelle: memory, and all the different types of memory is an executive function and we struggle with memory. All the kinds of memory. So yeah, it's externalizing that.

Trina: I'm

O'Ryan: Hmm. Same thing.

Trina: Yeah, it's hard because I, while I do externalize it and write it down, it still maybe always feels like I'm forgetting something. There's more. There's, you know, still not letting it go. It's not like I'm fully externalizing it. I'm still holding on to a lot of the stress around the tasks. I wish I could just put it on a list and then move on.

O'Ryan: there's an element for me of like, I'm gonna forget this if I don't write it down. Right? Like that Nintendo save screen. All things that are not saved will disappear. so there's this idea of like, the very fact of writing it down or documenting it somewhere. Now I don't have the anxiety of having to remember it.

But I still have the anxiety of knowing that that to do list item exists and it's still constantly like rolling around in my brain like okay We got to do that. Don't forget you got to do that Even though I've got it written down.

Obviously the to do list is both vital and a nightmare. I'm curious though, I feel like a lot of times, anytime we talk about how overwhelming our task list is, certain folks, I won't name any names, might be like, well, why don't you just get a planner?

Why don't you just write it down? Why doesn't that work for us? Why is this such a struggle?

Noelle: Every time I hear, you should just, I take deep breaths. it's like triggering. so yeah, when you say just use a planner or just write a to do list, you're not. Asking someone to just do one thing. A lot of the pieces that go into writing a to do list or using a planner are executive functions that we struggle with, and for a neurotypical person, they're doing all the same things, but But it's like their brain is doing them automatically, so they don't even know they're doing it, whereas we have to make an intentional effort.

So, for example, in order to create a task list that you're actually going to use and stick to, You're, first of all, probably have having to gather all the scattered sticky notes and go through your email and, your texts and all the random notes that you put in your phone and all these different places and try to gather them into one place, right? And then you're having to make decisions about, okay. Am I going to do this today or tomorrow or next year or never? am I going to delegate it to someone? You know, there's all the prioritization pieces. You're having to think about how long is this going to take? And can I do this now or later? there's so many different pieces of this. Yeah, I think it's not just a simple thing.

Trina: my gosh. That resonated.

O'Ryan: It's like, well, why don't you just build a house? Okay, well, give me, give me the blueprints. Oh, I need to go get blueprints. I need to decide what's in the blueprints. Oh, I need to plan for electrical and plumbing. And this isn't even like, I haven't even started building yet. this is something that I encounter a lot when I'm in meetings, especially at work, is.

We'll be planning for the future and saying, okay, we need to do X, Y, and Z. And I'll be like, okay, cool. That makes sense. I'll go to write it down on my to do list and it's gone already. So like, the short term memory, the working memory, like that makes it even harder. So now while they're talking, I'm trying to back up and remember what was going on, trying to like record what was happening.

And then later I need to take that and prioritize it into the to do list that I already have. I feel like to-do lists, , touch on almost every single executive function I can think of.

Noelle: Mm hmm. which is why I think, or one of the reasons maybe, that it feels like, okay, just spent all this executive functioning power, all this dopamine on this really intensive mental task of creating this to do list. And now I have to go do all the things? Like, how, that's not fair. Yeah.

O'Ryan: he, he mentions like how he only wears like the black turtlenecks because you only have so many decisions that you can make in a day, which I don't know how scientific it is, but I certainly feel that way after I've made a certain amount of decisions in the day.

I'm like, my brain's toast. And so if you're constantly making decisions just on writing your to do list, of course I'm exhausted. I'm overwhelmed.

Trina: you lose the to do list. That's a whole nother

O'Ryan: Yeah.

Trina: just forget that it exists. You just completely forget that you even started a notebook that has all of these things in it. There's, I think it's, there's a lot tied to memory here, which is really, interesting. I I hadn't really thought about it from that perspective yet. Like just writing the list is hard. And just getting to that point of like, well, deciding what the next step is, I think that is tricky sometimes.

So, okay, there's a,

O'Ryan: it's, I

Trina: a birthday party on Saturday.

Okay. What's my first step here? Like, even that, like, all of that out is a challenge.

O'Ryan: it's interesting, Trina, you mentioned like losing your list. I feel like that's, that's a, that's a thing that I hadn't even really considered either is like we're externally, we talk a lot about externalizing our executive function so that they're easy to both notice and manage. And here in, in like a to do list, you have a very clear example of I'm externalizing not only my, my working memory, my prioritization, my time management in some cases, but now, I've externalized it.

Now I have to remember where that thing is. I have to manage that thing that I'm using to manage myself.

Trina: Yeah, it's

O'Ryan: Yeah. Okay.

Trina: like, you know, it's not a smooth process. It's not always smooth for us, right? Cause we do forget things and we do misplace things and we just, it's, very tricky to like, guess this goes for more than just the to do list, but it definitely applies.

frustrating.

O'Ryan: It is a really good metaphor for all the other things in our ADHD life.

Trina: Yeah.

O'Ryan: Okay, so to do lists are hard.

Trina: hard. I also love them

O'Ryan: What?

Trina: I'm not going to lie. Cause I will also like do stickers. I try to make myself enjoy the to do list and I don't know about you guys, but I try to make it. More enticing, more appealing. Like, how can I make the to do list more fun? This is something that I actively work on. So I try to enjoy the to do list, but it is, it's a, it's not, not happening actually.

Noelle: I mean, you're, that's one of the strategies for motivation that I think we talked about a while back was adding like personal interests and novelty. a thing that you're struggling with.

Trina: Hmm. Interesting.

Noelle: it's a good example.

O'Ryan: Noel, and especially because I know you mentioned that you've, you've been dealing with this a lot in your coaching sessions. Where do we start? Where do we start with making this work for us instead of against us?

Noelle: it's going to be really hard not to jump into like all the other things involved. for example, it would be great if you could start with a routine day at, you know, setting aside minutes or so to do this process that I will discuss momentarily. But There's a lot of other pieces to this, so we'll have to cover that in future episodes, I guess,

but what I've been working with people on this week is coming up with a process that of works for your brain. , since no one ever teaches us to write a to do list,

O'Ryan: Because it's not something you have to teach, right? It's, it's, you should be able to know how to do this.

Noelle: like, uh, notes in school, I was never taught how to take notes. No one, none of the teachers ever told me how to write notes. They're just like, take some notes, uh, uh,

O'Ryan: like comic books.

Noelle: like, do I write every word that comes out of your mouth? Do I, right? And so no one ever teaches us how to write to do lists, and while a typical person maybe could get away with just jotting down a word or a phrase that reminds them of the task, for us, it's extra important to make sure that the way we're writing our tasks is going to be helpful for our brains. and a really great sort of framework that, I think another client maybe introduced to me the concept of tasty tasks. And this came from Amazing Marvin. It's a task management app. and it's not necessarily like made for people with ADHD, but it's so good. and so I've been using this a lot for myself and other people. there, it's a super easy sort of, recipe say for writing a task that you're actually likely to do. The three sort of ingredients would be, A, you want to start with a verb. So, going back to English class words. So for me, of writing blog on a sticky note, it would be a blog, being the action verb. But then we also want to make sure that very clear and specific. So when I look at that instead of blog, which is kind of vague, I read it? Do I write it? Do I like, what does blog mean? specific and I know exactly how to start. So maybe write a blog about task management with ADHD. So that's pretty specific. I know what, what the goal is, what I'm supposed to do, but we also want it to be short. We want it to be bite sized and tasty, like a snack. So if I write, write a blog about task management and ADHD, I still maybe have some resistance to that. that sounds like a lot of work. I write blogs every day for my job. that still sounds like a lot of work. so instead of write a blog about test management and ADHD, which is potentially a few hour long task, if especially if my executive functioning is short. I might write, write the introduction to a blog on task management and ADHD. Okay. that's a task that is pretty straightforward.

I know when I look at that, exactly what I'm supposed to do and how to get started. So there's an art, really, to writing tasks for your to do list.

O'Ryan: so those three ingredients, that was

Noelle: be actionable and specific and short and sweet, like a treat.

Trina: Tasty.

O'Ryan: Tasty.

Noelle: Yeah.

O'Ryan: Okay, so, so it's, start with a verb, be specific, and keep it short and tasty.

Trina: Interesting. I'm gonna go

O'Ryan: Awesome.

Trina: my to do list after this and see what I've got. I'm doing that or if mine is just complete chaos, which I suspect.

O'Ryan: my to do lists are like a combination of like notes and to do's.

Noelle: Yeah,

O'Ryan: like they're, they're pretty mixed.

Noelle: which that really gets me to the next. Strategy, I guess, that I was going to mention is that, know, throughout the day as random ideas pop into our head, Oh, I should do this, or we're in a meeting and we're trying to focus, but we need to remember something. So we jot down a quick,

O'Ryan: Hmm,

Noelle: or something. We get an email, all the different places that tasks and everything come from. They've all got to go somewhere. Maybe it's on a sticky note, maybe it's in your phone, maybe it's wherever. And we don't always have time to sit there and do that whole, okay, Make it specific, use a verb, make it short, because making it short means breaking it down, and that might take a little bit to figure out. We don't always have time for that in the moment. So one thing that I suggest is having I would call like an inbox for your tasks. And this could be wherever you want. It could be a sticky note. It could be whatever, but this is just as brief notes and snippets and ideas and things that just pop into your head. That's your inbox. So then when you do have time, okay, now I'm gonna sit down and really like figure out what my to do list is for today or this week or whatever. You can check out that inbox and then make decisions about, okay, which of these things we're just gonna crazy ideas that have time for. Which of these are things I need to do today? Which are these things, you know, and you can sort it and start prioritizing that way. And at that time you can use that formula to write them in the tasty task way.

Trina: That kind of just blew my mind because I was picturing me using this formula with like a folder on my phone somehow and just like screenshots that go in a folder. And then I can just check them every day. But like, Oh yeah, you have to, do you know what I'm saying? Like I can take screenshots of emails.

You could take screenshots of stuff that you want to come back to and put them in a folder. I might, I'm going to try that. A new

O'Ryan: a to do, to do inbox. Trina's excited.

Trina: about a new system that, yeah, I don't know. That's cool.

O'Ryan: if there was one thing that you could leave our community with that they should try to reduce the overwhelm around their to do lists, what would that be? One thing that somebody could take away today.

Noelle: I mean, I would say try the TastyTask formula see if it makes any of those to do list items feel less overwhelming for you That formula really addresses a lot of the challenges that we have, it forces us to break things down into short pieces, which can help with overwhelm and the lack of clarity around how do I even start this?

And, it addresses so many of our barriers just to do this. So,

O'Ryan: Mm,

Noelle: I mean, fairly easy. It's three steps might take a little thinking for some, you know, some things, but yeah, I think it's a great first thing to try.

O'Ryan: I like it. the only other thing I might add to that is that in writing your tasty treats, we talked about this in the time management episode, but Making sure that you're paying attention to the time it takes you to actually complete those tasks so that when you're writing those, you're not over committing for your day or your week or your month.

And, and especially like. You know this, we've been kind of talking about this in the context of maybe work, but this also goes for family and as we kind of go into the holidays thinking about like what you're actually committing to Especially for the holidays, right? Maybe writing a tasty to do list would be good for thanksgiving, too

Trina: Ooh, maybe we can remember it that way at least. Yeah. Yep.

Noelle: Yeah. This task management is not a thing that you can get ahold of in one coaching session because there's so much more to it. So yeah, the first step is figuring out how do I. Write my tasks and where do I write them in such a way that more likely to do them, then you have to work on how do I prioritize them?

How do I plan them out in the future? How do I set routines so that I'm actually reviewing and managing my to do list? So there's a lot more to it that we could talk about. Cool.

Noelle: Hey there, Coach Noelle here. We'd love to hear from you. Go to shimmer.care and leave us a message, or if you're subscribed, you can reply directly to the email.

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