When we're children, we're taught to name our feelings in easy to understand words: happy, sad, mad, scared. And those simple words fit our needs for a while.

But as we mature, so do our feelings. And so should our feelings vocabulary! For example: Are you sad, or are you feeling let down by someone? Is that warm feeling in your heart happiness, or is it that you feel valued? There are dozens of feelings we could have in a day (or a combination of two or more!), but they aren't always as easy to identify.

So how can we figure out what specific feelings we are experiencing — and how does identifying them benefit us? That’s where an easy to use and helpful tool called the Feelings Wheel comes in!

What is a feelings wheel?

The Feelings Wheel is a circular visualization tool that lists a wide variety of emotions to choose from to label your feelings. Putting a name to feelings helps you decide how to respond to the feeling, with more awareness of your true emotional state. The wheel works from the inside out, starting with primary feelings in the center and then getting more specific as you move toward the outside of the circle. Let’s take a look!

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• Primary Feelings, like happy or sad, are the basic categories of human feelings found in the center of the circle.
• Second Tier Feelings, found in the middle of the wheel, are more specific feelings within the primary categories—like playful under happy or vulnerable under sad.
• Third Tier Feelings, found on the outer part of the circle, are even more distinct feelings—like hopeful under happy or disappointed under sad.

There are different models of the Feelings Wheel, with various names of feelings, but the same basic themes are found in each model. The Feelings Wheel is used in therapy, coaching, and by individuals to gain greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence, as well as to aid in communication.

Benefits of naming feelings for ADHD

Naming your feelings makes it easier to manage ADHD by helping with:

• Overwhelm: When strong emotions hit us, it might feel like we are experiencing a storm of every feeling all at once! By calling out one or two emotions, it can lessen the storm and reduce overwhelm.
• Impulsivity: Taking a pause to choose the name of your emotion gives us space to see different options and make a choice rather than act impulsively.
• Emotional Regulation: Understanding and moderating feelings is part of emotional regulation, which can be harder for ADHDers. Naming feelings lowers the intensity of emotions, so you can respond in a flexible and measured way.
• Mindfulness: Identifying what you’re feeling in the present moment, is practicing mindfulness, which has been shown to help ADHD symptoms.

How to use the Feelings Wheel

1. Keep It Visible

Print the wheel or make your own with your preference of words and colors. Put it on your fridge, desk, or in your planner or journal. Or save the photo in your phone. Hot tip: Favorite the photo or put it in a folder for ADHD tools to find it more easily!

2. Notice the Feeling

Practice identifying the first signs of feelings. You might notice a tightness in your throat when you’re frustrated or tension in your chest when you’re anxious. Take a breath, stretch, or look at a spot in the room while acknowledging the feels.

3. Identify the Primary Emotion

Start by looking at the center of the circle. Pick which broad category of feelings you are experiencing.

4. Get Specific

Now, move out from the center of the circle and see if any of the secondary or outer feelings resonate with you.

5. Acceptance

Some feelings, like jealousy or vulnerability, can be hard for people to admit. But by fully accepting what you’re feeling, the good and bad, you can move forward. Release self-judgment and give yourself compassion here.

6. Moving Forward

With your new awareness, you can choose the next step! How do you want to proceed knowing what is truly going on for you?

7. Notice Patterns

Certain situations and people might bring up recurring feelings. Notice if there are patterns in your life. You can create boundaries or prepare for places or interactions where more negative feelings commonly show up.

For example, did you learn you’re regularly irritated at family get-togethers? Put a boundary on how much time you’ll stay or prepare for ways to answer questions that bother you.

How the Feelings Wheel improves relationships

Better Communication and Connection

Saying what you're feeling can lead to better understanding and communication with the people in your life. Insight into your feelings, for both yourself and others, can help solve problems faster and foster connection. The Feelings Wheel serves as a valuable tool for expanding your emotional vocabulary, allowing you to articulate your experiences with greater precision. This enhanced ability to name and describe emotions can lead to more meaningful conversations and stronger bonds, as it enables you to share your inner world more effectively with others.

Personalized Emotional Expression

The Feelings Wheel can be especially helpful in recognizing that people express emotions differently. This is particularly true for neurodivergent individuals, who may have unique ways of communicating their feelings and affection. By using the Feelings Wheel as a starting point, you can have more nuanced conversations about emotional expression, leading to better mutual understanding in diverse relationships.

Empathy

‍Knowing the full range of feelings everyone has can improve your understanding of what others might be experiencing. Keeping the Feelings Wheel in mind when interacting with friends, loved ones, coworkers, and strangers can widen your perspective and increase empathy.

You might be able to tell your partner, child, or friend is feeling sad. But if you consider they might actually be feeling lonely, that changes how you perceive the situation. Perhaps instead of giving a gift to cheer them up, the gift of spending time together would be a better way to help!

Feelings Wheel: A New Tool in your ADHD Toolbox

Using the Feelings Wheel can help you better understand yourself and others. You can practice using the wheel alone, with your family, or discuss it with an ADHD coach. The more you use it, the easier it will be to remember the many options of feelings.

Naming feelings brings them into the light, where you can see them more clearly and they lower in intensity. From there, you can choose how to respond and move forward from a place of deeper self-awareness and acceptance. Happy naming!

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