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In this installment or our ADHD Awareness Month series, we continue our mission: to spark change in public perception of ADHD to increase awareness, combat stigma, and advocate for improved policy, access, and accommodation for neurodiversity.
Today, we share the story of an individual navigating life with both ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Our interviewee, Sam (name changed for anonymity), discussed his experience with late ADHD and ASD diagnosis, internalized ableism, and the coping skills he’s used to combat stigma, eliminate shame, and navigate his professional and personal life.
🎢The late diagnosis rollercoaster
Like many adults with ADHD, Sam's journey to diagnosis came later in life, shedding light on a lifetime of unexplained experiences.. "I was diagnosed as an adult, around age 29," he shares. "It certainly contextualized a lot of experiences and feelings that no one around me had an explanation for during my childhood."
This late diagnosis is a common experience for many adults - especially those who don't fit the stereotypical presentation of ADHD. And for Sam, ADHD and ASD came as a package deal - a real double whammy for anyone raised in a society still rife with stigma around both conditions.
"No one during my childhood really recognized my neurodivergence, either being labelled 'eccentric' or a 'drama queen,'" he recalls. “So, at first, I struggled with a lot of internalized ableism and imposter syndrome around being on the autism spectrum.”
According to Dr. William Dodson, as early as age 12, children with ADHD have received as much as 20,000 more critical or corrective statements than peers. This fact came to mind as I spoke with Sam, and I was struck by the similarities between his experience, and that of last week’s interviewee, Bellomy, who spoke about how the emotional regulation challenges of ADHD and depression led some to call her ‘emotionally unable.’
🔗The interplay of ADHD and Autism
Despite similarities, though, these conditions can present in unique and varied ways. Sam described the complex interplay between these conditions.
"I really have to keep myself in check whenever I experience 'tunnel vision', because having both ADHD and being on the autism spectrum is great when I'm doing something I'm really passionate about! When I'm really into something, I am really REALLY into it," he shares. "My career field requires a lot of research and knowledge, and this is the #1 situation in which my tunnel vision comes in handy."
This intense focus, often referred to as hyperfocus in the ADHD community, can be both a blessing and a curse. When channeled towards areas of interest, it can lead to incredible productivity and creativity. However, it can also make it challenging to shift attention to less engaging but necessary tasks. Sam agreed. “It is really challenging to manage when I need to focus on something I don't have a lot of passion for."
Another aspect of this neurological interplay is heightened sensory sensitivity - a hallmark of both ADHD and ASD. "Being hypersensitive to positive sensory stimuli is awesome! Being hypersensitive to negative sensory stimuli is awful," he explains.
It’s not just dislike of certain tastes, sounds, textures; over-sensitivity to sensory experiences causes information overload in the brain, resulting in anxiety, meltdowns, and even physical pain. These sensory differences can also make focus more challenging, and in some cases lead to nutritional deficiencies (due to restricted diet), isolation (avoiding activities or environments with too much noise), and more.
🧭Navigating professional and personal life
In the professional realm, Sam and Bellomy again shared similar struggles in communication. For individuals on the autism spectrum, who may struggle with picking up on subtle social cues or unspoken expectations, miscommunication can be a daily struggle. When combined with ADHD's tendency towards distractibility, it can create a perfect storm of communication challenges.
"My career field is full of very polite people. Politeness definitely has its pros,” he notes, “but one primary con is that politeness leads to a lack of confrontation or constructive criticism. I sometimes feel like I'm 'missing something' during a conversation but can't quite put my finger on what I'm missing."
Executive function difficulties, a hallmark of ADHD, also play a significant role in his professional life. "The other most significant challenge is executive dysfunction - if my brain has decided that the attention part of my brain isn't going to activate at any given time, it is very, very difficult to focus or get things done in a time-efficient manner."
Challenging stigmas and misconceptions
Unfortunately, stigma and misconceptions about both ADHD and ASD persist. Our interviewee has encountered skepticism, particularly around adult ADHD diagnoses. "The main stigma that I've noticed... is that ADHD has been diagnosed 'too much' and adults seeking ADHD testing are only seeking testing to legally acquire a stimulant medication," he shares.
This stigma can create significant barriers to diagnosis and treatment. "Seeking treatment for ADHD is difficult; there is a significant stigma in the local medical community around treatment for ADHD through medication," he explains. "I've seen multiple doctors and psychiatrists who had a visible shift in body language and tone the moment I brought up being diagnosed with ADHD."
This is not at all an isolated experience. In fact, I’m writing this piece immediately after seeing a client who expressed frustration about this very thing. “I’ve been trying on and off to get a diagnosis and medication for seven years now. At this point, I’m just tired, and I want to give up.”
Another common misconception many still hold about ASD is that people on the spectrum struggle to feel empathy. According to Sam, it’s just not so. "I am incredibly grateful for the empathy that having ADHD and Autism has given me," he reflects. Like Bellomy’s shared last week, neurodivergence frequently means more empathy, not less, leading to meaningful connections and friendships.
❤️🩹Coping strategies and self-compassion
Managing the dual challenges of ADHD and ASD requires a multifaceted approach. Sam shared a few strategies that help him navigate daily life:
- Time management: Sam recommend setting multiple alarms as reminders for tasks, not just one. This can aid in smoothing transitions as well as marking the passage of time.
- Breaking tasks down: Breaking tasks into small, specific achievements helps with motivation and can reduce overwhelm on big, intimidating projects.
- Communication check-ins: Sam suggests regularly checking in with others during conversations to make sure the two (or more) of you are on the same page.
- Therapy and journaling: Sam emphasized the importance of self-acceptance and self-compassion. "This is still a challenge for me, because I sometimes still struggle with feeling like the 'curses' of my conditions outweigh the blessings," he admitted. "Therapy helps, and when alone I try to journal my thoughts to process the fact that these conditions are not a 'curse' at all - they only make me different, and 'different' and 'bad' are not synonyms."
Sam also emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy and setting boundaries. "I try my best to educate people around this, but it gets so exhausting sometimes," Sam admits. As an example, he expressed frustration around the pressure to ‘get over’ things quickly. "Honestly, [I wish] that people accepted that, because of my hypersensitivity, when something feels awful or stresses me out, I can practice coping skills and get through it, but I can't just get over it... Just give me a few minutes and some space to recover and I'll be alright, but don't tell me I'm wrong for feeling what I feel!"
🌈Redefining 'Normal'
One thing Sam hoped to make abundantly clear: there is no such thing as a "normal" brain. Each of us, neurodivergent or neurotypical, experiences the world in our own unique way. “If there’s one takeaway from this I hope people have, it’s that there's no one "right" way to think, to feel, to be. "Different" and "bad" are not synonyms.”
And for others navigating life with ADHD and ASD, Sam offers this advice: "Talk to someone! The absolute worst thing you can do when you live with this is make yourself feel like you're alone in your struggle, because I promise you that you aren't. Talk to a therapist, find local circles and communities that are passionate about your hobbies and interests."
This ADHD Awareness Month, help us ignite change. The first step? Share your story. Like Sam said - "Talk to someone!" Not sure who to talk to? Our adult ADHD coaches are here to support you, providing a safe space for you to be fully, authentically you.
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