Meltdowns are an expression of a person’s survival instincts (often referred to as the 3 F’s, fight, flight, and freeze) kicking in as a response to nervous system overload. Just like some people may automatically jump, scream, or lash out when frightened or threatened, the way a person with autism responds in these moments isn’t an active or voluntary choice. It’s an automatic response to a trigger - typically, highly stimulating or anxiety-provoking situations. Specifically, an autistic meltdown is an expression of the fight or flight responses
Meltdowns will look a bit different from one person to the next. And, even for the same person, all meltdowns may not look the same; they may differ in intensity and length depending on the trigger(s) and other contextual factors. Visible behaviors or warning signs of a meltdown may include:
Like any experience, the way a meltdown feels for the person with autism can vary. Here’s how an anonymous interviewee described what meltdowns feel like for them:
"For me, a more “mild” meltdown looks like crying, and stimming uncontrollably, either physically or verbally or both. One of my meltdown “stims” is to hit myself in the head, as I say or mutter the same things repetitively, oblivious to the outside world. If it is more mild, this is usually not with enough force to actually hurt me, and I won’t necessarily lash out at others. If the meltdown is severe enough though, I black out. My brain turns off, and I’m filled with such uncontrollable rage or anguish that I start hitting, kicking, or destroying things, people or things get screamed at, and I’m prone to self harm or suicidal tendencies before it calms. Whether one remains lucid during a meltdown or not, you don’t feel a sense of “control” over what is happening. You kind of just have to ride it out. It’s like your mind is off, or powerless, as your body carries out the actions that represent the overwhelm you were consciously or unconsciously feeling inside. And a meltdown is almost always accompanied by a poignant sense of shame after it tapers off & ends, especially if anybody witnessed it."
Shutdowns are often more subtle, at least from an outside perspective, than meltdowns. But, they’re still a reaction to big emotions like stress and overwhelm when the body’s fight, flight or freeze ‘survival mechanism’ is activated. It’s kind of like how a computer that becomes overheated from trying to run too many processes at once may suddenly shut down or close all but the most basic functions. During autistic shutdown, a person may be so overwhelmed that they seem to ‘check out,’ and struggle to perform even ‘basic’ functions like communication or movement.
While meltdowns are typically an expression of the fight or flight responses, shutdown represents the freeze response. Often more internal, shutdowns may be more difficult to notice from the outside. It may look like zoning out - staring into space or at the wall, floor, etc. The person may curl up the body in a seated or laying down position. If they were speaking, they may suddenly stop talking or trail off mid-sentence.
Our anonymous interviewee described their experience with shutdown:
“For me, in past experiences where I felt myself sliding slowly into a state of shutdown. Often the first sign would be: the carefully crafted mask I utilize as a comfort; starting to crumble and crack. I feel the world around me start to close, some stimuli seemingly increasing, be it in volume or the amount of attention it calls, while others lose my focus. Drown out by my own mind struggling to cope and grasping at any attempt to avoid what ever triggered this slip into shut down.”
After a meltdown or shutdown many autistic people will be very tired both mentally and physically. They may last for an extended time even after the initial trigger is removed, and/or after the person leaves the triggering space. If you’re a friend or loved one, try to remain patient and give them the space and time they need for emotional regulation. Afterwards, the person may struggle to remember details of what happened for some time, so try not to initiate a conversation about what happened immediately.
If you experience a meltdown or shutdown, remember that the aftermath is a time to practice extra self-care and kindness. Take care of the body and mind by being in a comfortable sensory environment, prioritizing extra time for rest, hydration and eating safe foods. Post- meltdown or shutdown can also be a time to ask for support from the community. If certain key aspects of self care feel like too much, there may be someone in the community who would be happy to provide support. Unfortunately, adult autism supports are nearly non-existent, ideally this would be a time in which there would be more systemic supports for the autistic individual but for now we do what we can with the resources available.
While each person’s experience of meltdowns and/or shut downs is different, in general, the internal experience of these instances can be quite similar. Meltdowns may come with more intense feelings of anger, sadness, fear, or frustration, while shutdowns can come with more feelings of numbness. This is not always a fact, as the opposite can also occur.
There are many reasons a person might find themselves at a point of shutdown or meltdown. The body is trying to signal that the person is in extreme distress, and is trying to release that overwhelming distress. This is a non-exhaustive list that can point to some common themes:
In the moment, shutdown and meltdowns can be difficult to manage or stop. Each individual is unique, and what helps one person may just make it worse for another. So, the most important thing for a friend or family member to keep in mind is to follow the individual’s lead and be open to helping in the ways their loved ones ask for. Remaining calm is important.
While it may not be possible to prevent them entirely, having a solid plan in place to minimize exposure to triggers, and prepare a dedicated soothing environment ahead of time, can help reduce meltdown and shutdown frequency.
Understanding the distinction between meltdown and shutdowns can be helpful for people experiencing them to understand themselves more. The more you understand your triggers, and the things that help you self-soothe and regulate, the better you can prepare yourself in advance and reduce the frequency of meltdown and shutdowns. For friends nd family, it’s important to learn how to be as supportive as possible in each situation. Be open to providing support in the way your autistic loved one expresses they need it.
At the end of the day, meltdown and shutdowns will probably happen at some point. The goal is not to make them stop altogether, but to decrease frequency and intensity, and to improve how they are handled for the wellbeing of the person experiencing them. The world is an inherently overwhelming place. For an autistic person, this is especially true. As most of the world and society is, unfortunately, not currently built with autistic needs in mind, it is important to be understanding and patient.
