⚡What is impulsivity?
Impulsivity is the tendency to act on urges without pausing to consider the consequences. For those of us with ADHD, impulsivity isn’t just a habit—it’s wired into how our brains process decisions.
Impulsivity can show up in different ways, such as:
- Overspending
- Overeating
- Interrupting others
- Emotional outbursts
- Engaging in risky behaviors
- Fidgeting or difficulty sitting still
- Lack of patience or difficulty waiting
- Being easily distracted
- Blurting out thoughts before thinking
- Overspending or impulse shopping
Impulsivity is a core ADHD symptom, but there are ways to work with your brain to improve decision-making and self-regulation.
🤯Why is ADHD impulsivity so hard to control?
Those of us with ADHD have probably heard things like, “you just need to think before you speak,” or “you lack discipline,” or “you have no willpower.” We may have developed a habit of beating ourselves up for making mistakes - especially the ones we seem to keep making over and over.
Unfortunately, most people don’t realize that “willpower” and “self-control” are not innate character strengths. Impulsivity isn’t about willpower—it’s about how our brain processes information. For those of us with ADHD, telling ourselves no in the moment isn’t a matter of choice - it’s a matter of neuroscience.
The brain’s role in impulsivity
Two key areas of the brain influence impulsivity:
- Prefrontal cortex (PFC): The command center that helps with planning, decision-making, and self-regulation.
- Thalamus: The brain’s braking system that signals when to pause and evaluate before acting.
For people with ADHD, the signal to slow down is often delayed or weak, meaning we act before the PFC has time to step in. This leads to snap decisions that we may later regret.
The role of hot and cold executive function
To make things even more interesting, there are also TWO different executive function systems: Hot, and Cold.
- Hot executive function: Fast, emotional, and reactive. This is what causes impulsive actions when we’re excited, stressed, or angry.
- Cold executive function: Logical, thoughtful, and deliberate. This allows us to weigh options before making a decision.
In ADHD brains, the hot system often overpowers the cold system, leading to knee-jerk reactions instead of measured responses.
On top of that, if you’re in an emotionally-charged situation (you’re feeling excited, scared, anxious, angry) your Hot EF system is activated. So, your body is primed for fight or flight, and those knee jerk reactions are ready to go.
🛑How to manage ADHD impulsivity
In order to exert that “self-control” people keep talking about, we first need to understand how decisions are made. We want to move from Reactive to Responsive.
- Reactive: You act on impulse, driven by the hot executive function system.
- Responsive: You engage your cold executive function system, taking time to evaluate before acting.
So, how do we pause to think and evaluate when our brain is on fire with emotion, and the brakes are turned off?
Well, it takes practice - but it can be done. Let’s run through it.
Step 1: Build awareness of your triggers
Start by identifying the situations that spark impulsivity. Grab a piece of paper to write down your thoughts. Ask yourself:
- When do I tend to act impulsively? Write down some of the past situations where you made decisions you regretted later.
- In each of those situations, write down what emotions you were feeling.
- How does your body respond to different emotions? For example, do you feel hot in certain areas of your body? Do you notice tension in specific areas?
- Now, consider the environment you were in for each of those situations. Are there any recurring themes? Might there be specific people or environments that make impulsivity worse?
One of the best things you can do for yourself, starting out, is make a habit of reflection immediately after a situation where you think your Response Inhibition was lackluster. Consider the following:
- On a scale of 1-10, how strong was the emotion in that situation?
- What was the urge you felt?
- What were the consequences of the action you took?
- What alternative actions could you take in the future, in the same situation?
As you deepen your awareness of yourself, your body, and the triggers for the behavior, you can begin to interrupt the cycle before you make a regrettable decision or action. Make a habit of checking in with yourself to see how you’re feeling in the moment. If you’re running hot, take some time to let that cool calm kick in before reacting.
Step 2: Train your brain to pause before acting
When you struggle with impulsivity, people often say, “Just stop and think before you act.” But if it were that simple, we’d already be doing it. The key is practicing micro-pauses in low-pressure moments so that when high-stakes situations come up, your brain already has a habit of slowing down.
Try these daily exercises to strengthen your ability to pause before acting:
- Name your urge before acting on it. If you feel the impulse to interrupt, reach for your phone, or make a snap decision, say it in your head: “I feel like blurting something out,” or “I want to buy this right now.” This simple act forces your brain to acknowledge the impulse instead of just reacting.
- Narrate your decision-making. When making everyday choices (What should I eat? Should I reply to this email now?), say your thought process out loud. This builds awareness and strengthens the habit of deliberate decision-making.
- Use physical cues. If you tend to act impulsively in specific situations (like overspending), place a sticky note on your wallet or phone that says, “Pause. Do I really want this?” Visual reminders help train the brain to insert a moment of reflection.
- Practice small delays. Instead of expecting yourself to stop a strong impulse in the moment, practice low-stakes delays first. For example, if you’re about to check your phone, tell yourself, “I’ll wait 30 seconds.” This helps build the muscle of waiting before reacting.
By practicing in low-pressure moments, you train your brain to recognize impulses before they take over—making it easier to manage them when it really matters.
Step 3: Build a support system that works for you
ADHD impulsivity isn’t just about willpower—it’s about how your brain processes decisions. And just like any skill, learning to manage impulsivity takes practice, structure, and support. You don’t have to do it alone! Here are a few ways to build an impulsivity support system:
Find an ADHD accountability partner
One of the most effective ways to manage impulsivity is externalizing self-regulation. If your brain struggles to hit the brakes on its own, having an accountability partner can act as an external checkpoint.
This could be:
- A friend who understands ADHD and can check in on certain habits or goals.
- A trusted coworker who helps you slow down before sending impulsive emails or making quick decisions.
- A body double—someone who works alongside you to help with focus and self-monitoring.
Even a quick text exchange like, “Hey, I’m about to buy something impulsively—talk me down?” can help insert a moment of reflection.
Use structured tools and reminders
Sometimes, impulsivity happens because our brains are bored, overstimulated, or emotionally flooded. Setting up environmental supports can help you slow down and regulate your actions. Try:
- Phone or browser extensions that block impulsive behaviors (e.g., blocking shopping sites, social media, or notifications during work).
- Automated reminders to check in with yourself (“Pause—how are you feeling right now?”).
- Spending limits or waiting periods for financial impulsivity (e.g., only allowing yourself to buy something after adding it to a list and waiting 24 hours).
By structuring your environment, you make the right decision easier and the impulsive decision harder.
Consider ADHD coaching for real-world strategies
You can read all the tips, tricks, and hacks you want, but ultimately, managing ADHD impulsivity isn’t just about knowing what to do—it’s about figuring out how to adapt and integrate those strategies into your unique life. That’s where ADHD coaching comes in.
An ADHD coach helps you:
- Identify your specific impulsivity triggers
- Develop personalized strategies to manage them
- Build self-awareness and emotional regulation tools
- Create an accountability system so you’re not relying on willpower alone
Many ADHDers find that coaching provides the structured support they need to make real, lasting changes—especially when impulsivity has been a lifelong struggle.
🏋️Practice makes progress
Our brains may have developed with some less-than-stellar brakes. But it’s always possible to learn a new behavior. At first, the new choice is tough. You’ll probably still feel the same way, in the situation, and our brains are built for the path of least resistance, so they’ll want to do what they’re used to doing. But, the more you practice the alternative, the easier it becomes. And If you feel like you need a little extra support, a Shimmer ADHD coach may be able to help.
❓Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is response inhibition?
Response inhibition is the ability to pause before acting and suppress behaviors that might not be appropriate or that interfere with goals. It’s what allows us to stop and think before making a decision. Impulsivity happens when response inhibition is weak or delayed, leading to quick, automatic reactions instead of thoughtful choices.
For ADHDers, response inhibition is often impaired due to differences in brain function, making it harder to stop an impulse before acting on it. This is why managing impulsivity isn’t just about willpower—it requires practicing self-regulation strategies and using external supports.
Is impulsivity always a bad thing?
Not necessarily! Impulsivity can sometimes be a strength. It can make us spontaneous, creative, and open to new ideas. The key is learning when impulsivity helps and when it gets in the way.
For example:
✅ Good impulsivity: Jumping into a new creative project, seizing an exciting opportunity, or making quick decisions under pressure.
❌ Challenging impulsivity: Interrupting conversations, overspending, reacting emotionally without thinking, or making risky choices.
By practicing self-awareness and self-regulation, you can learn to harness impulsivity as a strength while reducing its negative impacts.
Can ADHD impulsivity improve over time?
Yes! While ADHD impulsivity is rooted in brain function, it is possible to strengthen impulse control with practice. Strategies like:
- Building self-awareness around impulsive triggers
- Using external reminders and accountability
- Practicing small decision-making delays
- Engaging in ADHD coaching for structured support
These can rewire your brain over time, making it easier to pause and think before reacting.
How is impulsivity different from hyperactivity?
Impulsivity and hyperactivity are both core ADHD symptoms, but they show up differently:
- Impulsivity is about acting without thinking first (e.g., interrupting, making snap decisions, emotional outbursts).
- Hyperactivity is about excessive movement or restlessness (e.g., fidgeting, needing to move, feeling unable to sit still).
Not everyone with ADHD is hyperactive, but impulsivity can happen in all types of ADHD.
