Equating Self-Worth with Productivity
Sitting at my desk, I find myself staring at my to-do list, feeling paralyzed. It seems like I’ve been here for hours, overwhelmed by the sheer number of tasks. I’ve made feeble attempts to start three different projects but haven’t completed any. Tears well up in my eyes as I ask myself, Why can’t I be more productive? Why does everything feel like such a struggle?
If this scene strikes a chord, you’re not alone.
Our society loves productivity. We celebrate the hustle, the grind, and the endless pursuit of achievements. So much so that often, the first question we ask new acquaintances is, “What do you do for work?” Or, when someone says, “Tell me about yourself,” our response often starts with our job: “I’m a teacher/doctor/coach/etc.”
Notice how we say, “I am a teacher” instead of “I work as a teacher.” This subtle difference speaks volumes about how we tie our identities to our occupations. So, it’s no surprise that many of us start to believe that our worth is tied to how much we can get done.
But what happens when you struggle with fluctuating motivation, energy, and focus? If your identity is so closely linked to your job, and you’re finding it hard to produce anything, how does that impact your self-worth?
This is a crucial question for those of us navigating the challenges of ADHD. Research shows that people with ADHD tend to have lower self-esteem than their neurotypical peers; and it’s no wonder, given that, by the age of ten, a child with ADHD hears around 20,000 corrective or negative comments.
Add to that the fact that many of us also experience rejection sensitivity, and you’ve got the perfect recipe for growing a human with low self-esteem.
Fortunately, there are ways to break the association between productivity and self-worth, and improve self-esteem.
Let’s dig into it a bit further.
ADHD and Productivity Challenges
Living with ADHD can feel like you’re constantly juggling ten different things, and somehow, you’re expected to keep them all in the air. It’s no secret that ADHD is characterized by difficulties with focus, organization, and task completion. These challenges can seriously impact productivity.
- Focus: Ever started working on something only to find yourself deep-diving into a completely unrelated topic an hour later?
- Organization: Keeping track of tasks, deadlines, and even daily essentials can be a Herculean effort.
- Task Completion: Starting a project is one thing; seeing it through to the end is another ball game entirely.
These hurdles can lead to lower productivity levels, making it tough to meet societal expectations. And when society’s yardstick for success revolves around productivity, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling short.
Impacts on Mental Health
When we see productivity as the sole measure of our self-worth, it can wreak havoc on our mental health. It’s like being on a treadmill that’s constantly speeding up—no matter how fast we run, we can never keep up. As a result, many of us struggle with these common challenges and ADHD co-morbidities:
- Anxiety: Constantly feeling like you’re not measuring up can create a persistent state of anxiety. Worrying about unfinished tasks and unmet expectations becomes a daily struggle, and it’s exhausting.
- Depression: When your self-worth is tied to productivity, and you feel like you’re failing, it can lead to feelings of hopelessness and depression. You start to believe that you’ll never be good enough, no matter how hard you try.
- Low Self-Esteem: Struggling to keep up with productivity demands can erode your self-esteem. When we tie our self-worth to productivity, we set ourselves up for a cycle of negative self-talk and feelings of worthlessness.
- Work-Life Imbalance: Prioritizing productivity over everything else can lead to an unhealthy work-life balance. You might find yourself working late into the night, sacrificing personal time and relationships in the process.
- Neglecting Self-Care: When productivity becomes the sole focus, self-care often falls by the wayside. Exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation are essential for mental and physical health, but they can be neglected in the quest for productivity.
- Loss of Joy: By equating self-worth with productivity, you miss out on the simple joys of life. Hobbies, social activities, and downtime are crucial for a well-rounded and fulfilling life, but they can be overshadowed by the constant drive to be productive.
Breaking the Cycle
So, how do we break free from this productivity trap? It starts with a shift in mindset. We need to recognize that our worth isn’t defined by our output. Here are a few tips to help with that:
- ADHD Coaching: Consider seeking help from an ADHD coach. They can provide personalized strategies and support to help you manage your symptoms and improve your productivity in a way that’s realistic and sustainable.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Every step forward is progress. Celebrate the small victories, no matter how insignificant they might seem. You could keep a Success Journal or digital scrapbook containing your reflections on wins, as well as any positive feedback you get from others.
- **Set Realistic Goals:** Don’t set yourself up for failure with unrealistic expectations. Break tasks into manageable chunks and tackle them one at a time. Even better - set goals for yourself that aren’t related to productivity, but about self-care, growth, and personal values.
- Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you’d offer a friend. If being positive is too big a change at first, start with some neutral affirmations or self-talk instead.
- Value Rest and Play: Make time for activities that recharge you. Rest and play are just as important as work, if not more so for those of us with ADHD, because those things help give us dopamine - which we need in order to be productive.
- Ask for Help: Many people with adult ADHD have learned to mask or hide their struggles to some extent, in order to avoid criticism. But that raises the stakes, making failure even scarier. Asking for help may be tough, but it may help prevent snowballing anxiety (which decreases productivity even more).
Beyond Productivity
Living with ADHD comes with its fair share of challenges, but it doesn’t mean we’re any less worthy or capable. ADHD can make it feel like we’re always a step behind, perpetually underachieving. The societal emphasis on productivity can be incredibly damaging for those with ADHD when it becomes the sole basis for self-worth.
Focusing solely on achievements can lead to neglecting other vital aspects of life like relationships, hobbies, and self-care. Recognizing the unique challenges of ADHD and reframing definitions of success is vital for improved well-being. It’s important to remember that we’re so much more than our to-do lists. By broadening our definition of success, we open up new avenues for finding fulfillment and joy.
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